To quote Neil Gaiman, "The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can."
Every day, I'm struggling to remember this advice. To remember that I am valuable. To know that my ridiculous amount of varied experience and expertise in so many different things is a good thing, not something to be dismissed, (Oh, you do too much. You should focus on one thing.)
Because I write. I draw. I build. I dance. But I haven't been able to really play or live for quite some time. There is always that shadow hanging over me - the ghost of income past. So instead of being me - that creative being I once was - I spend hours on a failing computer that I can't replace, looking for and applying to jobs that either don't even respond, or respond with, "You're over-qualified," or with, "We went the candidate that has more/different/younger/whatever qualifications." I have offered my experience and skills as a volunteer to places that say they want volunteers, to not even hear back from them. I can't fucking win.
And I'll keep doing all of the above, because I have no choice. Because I can't bear the thought of doing nothing. Because I NEED and WANT to work. Because I keep waiting for dawn to break....
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